January 18, 2011

Bedroom Dilemma

{Dilemma: state of uncertainty or perplexity especially as requiring a choice between equally unfavorable options}

So, you know how getting a good night’s sleep when you’re pregnant can be challenging, right?  Well, it’s been challenging for Josh too.

I get up to pee 3-4 times a night, and toss and turn from side to side with my body boppy pillow.  Despite all the disruptions, I sleep pretty well.  The real sleep disruption has been on Josh, so he started sleeping on the couch about 2 weeks ago.  He is able to sleep great on the Bonus Room couch and wakes up feeling well rested.  I’m glad he’s sleeping well, but this concerns me because he has no intention of coming back to sleep in our bed for the time being.

With all this said, Josh has been very sweet to offer to tuck me in when I go to bed and come in to see me when he first wakes up.  I love that.  He knows this is difficult for me to deal with, so him doing this has definitely helped some.  Its still hard not sleeping next to him every night, but on the flip slide I sleep great on my own too.  

My worry is, when does this stop?  Won’t our sleeping situation only get worse and be more stressful once Taylor is born?  OR… Do we just enjoy getting our sleep while we can before Taylor arrives?



  1. Hi Lauren! I think that you should just enjoy your sleep before sweet little Taylor gets here! Yall are going to be so beyond wrapped her little finger that you will want to be with her all the time so I think when she gets here yall will "move" back in together! : )

  2. My husband and I did the same exact thing right when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. It bothered me at first but I knew he was getting better sleep in another room. As soon as Hannah was born he came right back to our room and hasn't slept in the guest room since. Just enjoy your sleep while you can ;)

  3. My husband did the same thing during both of our pregnancies and it really was best for both of us. After each of our boys were born, he was right back with me in bed. Don't worry about your current arrangement, just enjoy the sleep both of you are getting because soon enough neither of you will be sleeping much! ;-)

  4. sleep now :)

    Peter is a solid sleeper. We have a Sleep Number bed at home, so me getting up was never an issue, but that guy spent my hospital bedrest sleeping in the uncomfy hospital bed next to me! Talk about a trooper!

  5. You want everyone to be as rested as possible! My parents have been married for 24 years and when one of them starts to snore really bad, off to the couch the other goes! haha.

  6. i agree with everyone else! ;) you'll both sleep comfortably together once she arrives (though maybe not for too many hours...). i think that my first pregnancy was what made us buy a king size bed. and i possibly took up 2/3 of it. :)


  7. sleep with a newborn? ha! :)

    i think you guys should enjoy your sleep now....it will only get harder for you to sleep. maybe you two can make saturday mornings your "stay in bed and hang out" time or something.....

    i had to sleep away from rob during my hospital stay and it was so hard so i understand how you feel....but i think once taylor gets here you will have no trouble getting back into your routinue and sleeping in the same bed!

  8. Oh sweetie. Its only temporary. When your baby girl is here it will be different. you will get in to your own groove and josh will be back next to you in bed. I suspect he will be back sooner than later. Just wait til you have the saturday morning snuggle fests in your bed just the three of you.

  9. Whatever gives you both a good night sleep is what you should do! We did something very similar when I was pregnant with Mia, BUT there was a slightly bigger "down side"...my son has a full size bed, my husband snores HORRIBLY, so between getting up constantly to pee, and just the usual pregnant tossing and turning, I decided to sleep in my sons bed and my son slept with my husband. We all got GREAT sleep and it was what worked for us! :) Of course people judged, but like I always said, "You don't know, until you are in the situation what you would do!" :) Grant it, Mia is a year old today and my son is JUST now back in his bed but whatever works!:)

  10. Getting a good night sleep is definitely important, but I wouldn't like it if Matt slept in another room..I certainly understand your concern. But I don't know what the solution is. Maybe if Josh stuck it out awhile, he'd get used to you moving around and it wouldn't wake him so often. Or maybe you guys could compromise..like every other night he sleeps with you.

  11. I think this happens a lot. With my first pregnancy my husband and I started sleeping apart around 7 months. We both slept better and were more rested. It was really hard on me at first, and the crazy hormones didnt help. But when we brought our son home from the hospital he slept in his crib from day one, so my husband came back in bed at that point. With my second pregnancy we bought a new bed when I was about 4-5 months. After sleeping on it about 1-2 months my husband thought it was too firm and started sleeping on the couch. He wanted to wait till after I delivered to try and find a good mattress topper. After baby came he was up a lot so I kept him in the bedroom with me. This delayed my husband coming back in our bed. Well our son is 4 months now and sadly I think my husband has gotten too comfortable on the couch. You just need to make it very clear how important it is to you that he come back in the bedroom with you when the time is right.

  12. Heres a thought. Could he sleep with you until your first "gotta pee moment" and then he could transfer to the couch and get uninterupted sleep then. It would also prep him for Tay's waking up at least once a night.
    I was always the one that moved around here, usually to the recliner :)

  13. Lauren,

    I'm so sorry that you are not resting well. We haven't crossed that bridge yet, but I do get up about 2x per night for potty breaks. I think Nicholas sleeps right through it. I do tumble from side to side alot though due to on and off hip pain.

    My solution, you each get your own little nest from Sun-Thurs. Then on Friday and Saturday nights its date nite duo in the boudoir. Get that weekend snuggle time in sweet friend :) You need that, as it will create reassurance for you and the two of you can look forward to that time together.

    Wishing you sweet dreams, peaceful sleep and weekend snuggle time :)

  14. Wow! You got lots of great advice here Lauren! I don't have much input because I slept on my own obviously but I do suggest worrying about you getting sleep in and I am MORE than sure when miss Taylor arrives, Josh will be abck in bed in no time! Sleep in a must now :) enjoy it while you can mama! byw you look beautiful as always! Keep those pictures coming!!!!

  15. i think you just have to do what you have to do to get rest...now and later. taylor will be sleeping sporadically at first- but then it will get better. those early days go by so fast and are so temporary. before you know it, you'll be closing the door to her nursery and watching her sleep peacefully through the night. it will feel like forever to get to that point, but then you'll look back and it will seem like an instant. i cannot WAIT til she is born!!! (okay, i CAN wait- but you know what i mean) :-)

  16. Good advice from all the ladies. Sleep in Lauren im sure he'll be right back in there with you as soon as little Miss Taylor gets here. I didn't sleep well when I was pregnant with my son and daddy didn't either he crawled on the floor alot of times (just because he was so tired he didn't make it to the couch) lol you two just get some rest.

  17. Lauren,
    Soooo happy to hear all these wonderful reports! Can't wait to read about Taylor and see pix once she arrives, too :-)
    About the progesterone....not sure if anyone mentioned this, but when I was taking the shots during my pregnancy, I had a very severe itchy reaction and we found out that I was allergic to the oil used in making the shot. I was able to find a local pharmacy that could mix a custom blend using another kind of oil that didn't cause any reactions. I'm looking at the bottle now and it says "ethyl oleate"...not sure what the common name is. Thought it might be helpful to see if you can try out a similar substitute.

    Blessings to you all!
    Love, Jen

  18. I don't remember how I found your blog but I just have to remind you that everything that seems like a big deal in the moment will soon seem tiny. My boys are 3 and 5 and my husband sleeps half of his nights on a mattress on the floor in their room because he falls asleep while putting them to bed. I hate the nights away from him but I know that when he is back in our bed all the time our boys will be bigger. I am so happy for you and I know that even though you are sad that you are in separate rooms now and maybe even when your baby is little, you and you husband are going to love and appreciate your little girl in a way most parents can't.


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    My Story
    Welcome to my life…

    Over the past three years it has been flipped upside down. I am 31 years old, and married to my hubby of three years, Josh. We have 4 beautiful angel babies, who are fondly known as our “Green Beans”. The first of my quads, Heidi, held on as long as she could and was born on January 31, 2009 after pPROMing at 17 weeks. A few weeks later, I pPROM’d with my sweet Lily. Lily, Paige, and Rylan were all born at 22 weeks on February 23, 2009. Just after being released from the hospital empty handed, I returned with a high fever and infection. Two of the nights I spent in the hospital that week, I honestly thought I was going to die. It was the sickest and most hopeless I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure my diagnosis was a broken heart.

    Our journey to becoming parents has had its share of happiness and heartbreaks. I got through every day by staying close to Josh, friends and family, blogging, and relying on God that my future will be bright. All the love and support I’ve gotten has greatly helped me manage……I am alive and well, and want to be my absolute best as a result of this.

    On May 1st 2011, we welcomed our sweet baby girl, Taylor, into this world. She is our miracle baby and brings so much joy and happiness in our lives. She is such a gift from God.

    I have come out of all of this with a better appreciation of life. I hope to make the best of this situation by helping others who will experience a similar loss.

    Remembering The Green Beans
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