Isn't he cute :) 
I've also added a button to my blog that I asked Josh to make for me. Feel free to add the button on the right to your page as a way for us to remember and honor our precious Green Beans by.
Shaved her up to her ears!
I haven’t posted in a long time because I don’t know how to put my feelings into words… Just when I am about to post about feeling sad, I don't feel that way anymore, and then I don't want to start feeling sad all over again if I post about it. Confusing, I know. I am still struggling with the loss of my babies at some point every day. I know that is too be expected, but it’s exhausting. Sometimes I break into tears while washing the dishes, or while driving my car, or while watching a movie. There is no rhyme or reason as to when I get sad, it just happens. I am always 1 minute away from breaking into tears when I am with Josh. Like at dinner last night... Josh brought up something about the babies, and then I lost it. I had tears running down my face right when the waiter decided to come up to us and ask for our order. Awkward!
I feel really lost. I don't know what to do next. I always feel like I have so much to do, but I can't concentrate on any one thing long enough to get it all done. Work has been hard for me too. It's nice to be back to my normal routine, but I still get distracted very easily. I have to deal with clients asking me daily about my pregnancy, or my recent maternity leave. It acts as a constant reminder to what happened.
Today is Easter, but it doesn't feel like it. All my family is spread out this year, so we aren't together or doing anything festive today. Josh, Seven, Romie, and I are just hanging out. We went to breakfast this morning, and then stopped by the new house. We are less than 60 days away from closing! Having all the house plans to think about is a good distraction. The tile is installed, the kitchen cabinets and the counter tops are in! It is all coming together nicely. I am working on picking out all the paint colors right now, so that is always fun, but it's exhausting having to convince Josh of all my color ideas!
Romie wishes you all a very Happy Easter!
Over the past three years it has been flipped upside down. I am 31 years old, and married to my hubby of three years, Josh. We have 4 beautiful angel babies, who are fondly known as our “Green Beans”. The first of my quads, Heidi, held on as long as she could and was born on January 31, 2009 after pPROMing at 17 weeks. A few weeks later, I pPROM’d with my sweet Lily. Lily, Paige, and Rylan were all born at 22 weeks on February 23, 2009. Just after being released from the hospital empty handed, I returned with a high fever and infection. Two of the nights I spent in the hospital that week, I honestly thought I was going to die. It was the sickest and most hopeless I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure my diagnosis was a broken heart.
Our journey to becoming parents has had its share of happiness and heartbreaks. I got through every day by staying close to Josh, friends and family, blogging, and relying on God that my future will be bright. All the love and support I’ve gotten has greatly helped me manage……I am alive and well, and want to be my absolute best as a result of this.
On May 1st 2011, we welcomed our sweet baby girl, Taylor, into this world. She is our miracle baby and brings so much joy and happiness in our lives. She is such a gift from God.
I have come out of all of this with a better appreciation of life. I hope to make the best of this situation by helping others who will experience a similar loss.
