July 14, 2009

paige elise

I think about all my babies all the time, but for some reason today, Paige was really sticking out in my mind. I have no idea why, but I enjoy thinking of each of them individually and remembering why I love each and everyone so much. It's probably just because I'm their mommy, but I felt like I knew each of my "beans" individually and we each had a special connection. Since I was thinking about Paige a lot today, I decided I'd write about her first. So, in no particular order, I plan to post about each of my babies...


I just really miss them, and talking about them helps me hold on to their memory. I remember them all together, and I try to also remember them separately, because to me they were all so unique and special...



PAigE ElisE

I have thought of naming my daughter Paige since I was a little girl. I started out naming my baby dolls Paige because I loved the name so much. You are going to be so beautiful, I just know it. When I met you, you had your little hands in your mouth, and all the ultrasound pics you were always sucking your thumb. You were also known for having the biggest feet and hands, just like your mommy :).

Aside from me loving the name Paige all my life, her middle name meant just as much to me. Elise was a name I got from one of my favorite Cure songs (A Letter to Elise). When I was pregnant, I used to drive around in my car and sing this song to my babies. That song has always been a beautiful love song to me, and it reminded me of how hopelessly in love some guy would be for her one day. The song describes your eyes as being so blue, like I'm sure they are. If only I had the opportunity to look into your open eyes when we met.


In your memory, we hope to have the opportunity to name another one of our daughters after you one day.

I hope you are having a wonderful time in heaven, Paige. You deserve the absolute best. Your Mommy & Daddy love you and miss you more than words can describe. We look forward to the day when we'll meet you in heaven.
Lauren Pictures, Images and PhotosLauren Pictures, Images and Photos

20 comments:

  1. Just beautiful... They are so lucky to have had you as their mommy. I look forward to reading about each of your girls....God Bless

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  2. love hearing about your babies...what a sweet girl she was. and i know she's proud to have you as her mommy. i didn't get to see my sons eyes either and that still makes me sad....

    her name is beautiful. thank you for sharing its meaning...

    cant wait to hear about your other three....

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  3. That was so beautiful & I wondered where her name came from & it is just perfect, absolutely perfect!! Thank you for being the blessing you are Lauren! love you!! Gg

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  4. So many tears for your precious Paige. SO SO BEAUTIFUL LAUREN.

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  5. Praying for you and knowing they are all having a great day in heaven!

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  6. Aww that's so sweet and beautiful...definitely made me tear up and sniffle a bit! You're an amazing mom and I love hearing how much you love your babies! I can't wait to read about the others!


    kristi.guillory

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  7. Sweet baby girl. Thank you Lauren for giving me a glimpse at my sweet angel niece.

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  8. oooohhhhh!!! Paige has a special place in my heart. She has touched me! I love her story for her name now I will always think of her when I hear that song. Thank you for sharing your story it really means a lot to me, I love to hear about the green beans.

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  9. This is beautiful Lauren. Your babies must love having you as their mommy. I bet they are so proud of how you carry out their memories here on Earth. Thinking of you and I can't wait to "meet" your other sweet ones!!
    xx,
    Tina

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  10. Lauren,

    Thinking of you and Paige and all of your children. They all are truely BEAUTIFUL!

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  11. I loved reading about your precious daughter Lauren. Thank you for sharing. xxxx

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  12. Paige is a beautiful name and she is definitely a beautiful little girl! The US picture of her sucking her thumb is so cute!! What a happy memory! I'm looking forward to getting to know each of your babies better.

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  13. Tears!!! Thinking of you xoxoxo Nan

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  14. Paige Elise is a beautiful name and she is a beautiful baby. I am sure she would be honored to share her name with a future little sis. Hang in there Lauren, keep sharing your memories, I love to read them and hear them. Love you!

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  15. Lauren,

    I am so glad you are writing about your precious babies. It is so good for you and them. The story of Paige is beautiful. You are an amazing mommy & someday you will hold those four beans again. Until then I pray for you and Josh and just cannot wait to see you in action as a mommy. Until then, I look forward to hearing about those you have lost too soon. They are looking down feeling so much love. Much love to you all. Hope to see you soon.
    Brooke

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  16. Lauren - I look at your babies everyday and wonder how you manage to contain that amount of grief. Your picture above says it all. That smile (post loss I'm sure) tells of a woman, a mother, with such passion that love will conquer.

    Paige Elise is stunning - her name and her image.

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  17. So beautiful Lauren, you are a great writer and a wonderful mom! Thanks for sharing the story behind Paige's very pretty name. I feel more connected to her now.

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  18. It's wonderful for you to take time & remember each of your little beans as individuals. I know they are up in Heaven, jumping & playing and loving one another. I can only imagine how unique & special each of their personalities are.

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  19. I love how you told each of your children's stories. Paige is so beautiful. I love the picture of her sucking her thumb, too!

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  20. I'VE LEARNED IN THE BIBLE THAT DEAD PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING AND WHO SLEEPS, WAKES UP. YOUR BABIES ARE IN JEHOWAH'S MEMORY AND HE ALSO PROMISES DEAD ONES WILL LIVE AGAIN HERE ON EARTH, SOON. YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY WHEN YOU'LL HOLD THEM IN YOUR ARMS HERE ON EARTH.
    WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE REAL HOPE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES WHO HAVE DIED? PLEASE GO TO: http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_07.htm

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    My Story
    Welcome to my life…

    Over the past three years it has been flipped upside down. I am 31 years old, and married to my hubby of three years, Josh. We have 4 beautiful angel babies, who are fondly known as our “Green Beans”. The first of my quads, Heidi, held on as long as she could and was born on January 31, 2009 after pPROMing at 17 weeks. A few weeks later, I pPROM’d with my sweet Lily. Lily, Paige, and Rylan were all born at 22 weeks on February 23, 2009. Just after being released from the hospital empty handed, I returned with a high fever and infection. Two of the nights I spent in the hospital that week, I honestly thought I was going to die. It was the sickest and most hopeless I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure my diagnosis was a broken heart.

    Our journey to becoming parents has had its share of happiness and heartbreaks. I got through every day by staying close to Josh, friends and family, blogging, and relying on God that my future will be bright. All the love and support I’ve gotten has greatly helped me manage……I am alive and well, and want to be my absolute best as a result of this.

    On May 1st 2011, we welcomed our sweet baby girl, Taylor, into this world. She is our miracle baby and brings so much joy and happiness in our lives. She is such a gift from God.

    I have come out of all of this with a better appreciation of life. I hope to make the best of this situation by helping others who will experience a similar loss.





    Remembering The Green Beans
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